The Groupon Guide to: Warding Off Monsters

Folk wisdom dictates that every monster has a weakness. Cataloging and stockpiling these tricks and trinkets will protect you and your family throughout the upcoming monster season. Here's how to thwart the most commonly encountered monsters:

■Vampire: Allergic to garlic, sensitive to sunlight, indifferent to silver, and terrified of disappointing their god (the moon).
■Werewolf: Can be felled by silver bullet or a golden opportunity to be hit by lightning.
■Franken-Mummy: The reanimated corpse of a Frankenstein, a Franken-Mummy is unable to harm anyone who utters the magic incantation "please, no."
■Insecurity: Quell this inner demon by reminding yourself you are a talented, amazing person. Unless you're not, which is far more likely.
■Cookie Monster: Don't be scared of this monster—he's slowly killing himself with his lifestyle.
I hope this helps!!

P.S. There is nothing for Clowns... sorry