Je t'adore
à tout jamais
I traveled to heaven just to see your wings spread.
Told you to go ahead and wrap me in your forever.
Weave with me and make beautiful music in my ochestra.
I'm captivated in theserenadee of you.
Is it true?
Can your eyelashes really keep up with humming birds?
Beating tunes bashfully at my flower.
Coded words they are...
I
Under
Stand
Every
Blink.
I love you more than anything too.

Take my hand,
Fly away with me to
mahoganyy chocolate covered
never-never
lands.
Please dance rivers into my sundae seas.
See,
If you fly away with me,
I promise you the life of my eternity,
Mapping black loves passion.
Trapping romance in our illusions.

If only everyday could be like long walks,
kisses of bliss,
under Sun and Moon Gods blessing us with life lines to guide my heart to yours.
I'm here, and I love you,
this,
our,
many moments to come.

OCT. 29, 2006: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY DAVID-BAYBID! I LOVE YOU, THIS YOU KNOW IS TRUE FOREVER!

We kicked off his bday weekend early, started on Wednesday with poetry sharing my love with my love and placing 3rd. It's hard being in love and knowing that you are, working through forever isn't as easy as we thought, but determined minds make for perfectuous tomorrows we're made for eachother.

Thursday we went to the movies to see The Prestige (David's pick) okay movie, the suspense was pretty good.

Friday went to Red Fezz downtown, nice club, crowded but we made room for looks, laughs, and center of eachothers attention...my booboo got moves and he dress nice too...LMAO.

Saturday workout show me how to throw punches with red gloves and feel quicker when I took them off. ROAD TRIP! Went to Huntsville to see my cousin play...well, he didn't play but it still felt good to sit between legs watch good games and laugh at the other team cuz McNeese did that! Bone, next time at least sneak back in an hour before the bus leaves (lol).

Back in the ATX by midnight, happy birthday David!!!! Open ONE gift. Neck developer, I aim to please even if I don't really see the point of it, you want it I got it. Glad YOU liked it. Take some pictures of that big grin and eye lashes. SUNDAY, it's official, two cards, a kiss, a hug, and another gift. Black, Ipod nano...you been wanting one for a minute...attention span may bescarcee for a bit (lol), but at least that lets me know you "REALLY loved my gift." I love you some more...I share braided moments in your vision...completed. Jim's here we come! Hungry, ate, anxious to go where?! RIGHT THERE...to the gun range Red's Indoor Gun Range people YEP! that's what's up! Shot a 9mm (felt good with a little bit of a kick back to it, but fit perfect in my hands for the most part), then shot the M16!!!!! Yeah, that was smooth right there, felt myself liking it to much. Black accuracy made my fingers nerves...am I really that good at it? YEAAA BAAABBBYYYYY! Even though they bothjammedd up on me some...me, a gun, and a target...some badcombinationss LOL. StillKodakk caught us both and we bonded some more, fullplaitss down backs. We ended them with bow-rets when we went to go race go-karts!!!! 50mph SPEED RACER used to be a cartoon I liked, and from the looks of it...still could be. Funny how I drove slower (David says I was crusin) than what I would if I were racin my own....? Maybe because them mofo's cost like $2500 if damaged! Um yea, NO was not trying to buy one of those.

We speeded home to oil and scratch scalps with thumbs (kim/angel-smile). "This is the best birthday I've ever had," he says...and that just made it all worth while.

Dear Dad, Can You See Me?

I walked in on him.
I couldn’t tell if he had been,
smokin, snortin, or sticken
buff buff then passed glass
shattering the life of him.
He was,
folded over toilet bowls, without his clothes,
I moved alittle closer.

His eyes rolled back,
And I hoped they had taken him back
before clogged pores,
dirty needles,
and arm tracks.
Back to the remember whens,
Cause I remember when you wore suits and ties to dress fly,
Kissed me goodbye
Because you took pride in providing
working late nights.

I moved closer, enough to see that
His nose was sucked close
But open as wide as bullet holes
So big to where I can see…
Your brain rotting, blood clotting, soul dying.

I remember when they said,
Your legs were faster than you
Called you Road Run Em,
Literally, smokin em.
Or when you threw balls across football fields,
had rods of steel in your knees,
and still stole bases.
The elite athlete…
Smokin it all away,
I mean literally.

How many more times will I have to see you this way?
Or will you have to see me through glossy blurred vision,
cutting insition into my brain…
it’s repulsive,
regurgitating
remembering you this way.
But I’ll stay as a daughter should.

You know they say,
I smile like you around my mouth,
I keep my fist balled- knuckled up for action,
like you,
ready to knock a nigga out.
You,
They say I’m,
Blunt in my demeanor.
Natural shit talker,
Overly competitive – competitively speaking…
Writing letters of scripted curves the way yours do.
I remember when I admired you.
And when your contacts were intact and you could see me,
protect me,
love me better…
as a father should.

Now babygirl just got
Old scabs picked over…
I find myself melting to the floor
We go pulse
For pulse
And I’m closer now than I’ve ever been before.
Sitting at the knee of your knees
Daddy,
Hey daddy,
Please….
Just tell me one more,
of your remember when stories.

ebstewart,2006
sweated techniques publishing
all rights reserved

Grateful For....

1) Baybid making another year Oct. 29th (gettin old)
2) Seeing her & her in a week
3) My 5'0 moma ready to knock somebody out over her child (trust me she got some power in that little body too)
4) Honesty
5) Being myself, and stickin to it
6) Advisor telling me that I only have 5 classes left and it's possible to do all 15hours in May
7) New poetry pieces getting finished

Ode to...
David Jibri Braswell,

I love you more than I did yesterday and even more tomorrow. You are strong enough to be my man, my bestfriend, my lover, and confidant. I am blessed to have someone like you. My heaven on earth...My shining star...My all in all, you are gorgeous in mind body and soul. I hate not being able to have another word to express my love for you besides the simple "I love you." If I let my mind create I'd say that I adore you, I admire you, I need you to survive the universe around me and you. You are my HERO. I am embarrassed at how much I am in love with you. I accept you for you...I love you for you...You make it easier to breath, so thank you for my breath.
Always,
Squeak

YOU KNOW!
I'm gratful for....

1. Baybid saying that he's trying to make it to where I don't HAVE to work.
2. Mama's happiness (I love you)
3. Funny poems left on voice mail.
4. Bonding through the wire.
5. My Creator.
6. My sister being there when she needs her most.
7. Poetry and the dreams it creates

Bonus: For bad ass...I mean unruly kids that test me on whether I wanna be a teacher or not...and I still do!

Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo

In my dream,

He dropped rose petals,

leading me to his Kingdom.

Hypnotized...

He blinked paradise into my world.

And I swirled into emotions,

longing to be his shadow

and grace the pavement of where his feet lay.

How may I serve you,

my King?

I imagine he'd recognize me as more than just his servant...

And constantly as his Queen.

Granting me a chance to lean in the creases of his eyelids.

I'm tickled by being the first person you see.

Are you pleased with me,

my Lord?

If so,

Can I suction to your eardrum

and hear what the vibration of your voice sounds like...

And here the echo of sanity through the peace of you,

your Highness.

More than I could ever hope for,

He allowed me to vacation in his brain and form his next thought.

I love you...

to make me whole.

What a beautiful mind you have.

I am jealous of your heartbeat and the tune it plays.

"Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high...."

Blue skies,

You are my Eagle...

Can I fly with you?

"Sooo high,"

Walking on cloud 9's,

You are my sunshine on cloudy days.

"Ooooo your like the sun,

chasing all of the rain away,

when you you come around,

you bring brighter days."

Leaving faces of ribbons in the sky for our love.

Anointed with the rights of passage,

He noticed my Cinderella.

I became his Majesty.

And I woke up next to you,

For forever in time.

ebstewart,2006

sweated techniques publishing

all rights reserved

HIP HOP HONORS WEEK

This video is honoring the Hip Hop Legends that have graced the microphones!

It was a hard choice, but LL's momentum is like mine in so many ways in this rap.

Hip Hop Honors Awards

Oct. 17, Tuesday @ 9pm (EST)

VH1

Truth or Dare?

JoJo- "I'm not hosting but i'll still ask you a question... How much is too much to spend on a wedding?"
Answer: Look here! Man right now!!!! (lol) too much is what our limit is! $5,000 on the wedding...so $5,001- something gotta go back! LMAO.
Thanks for letting me play JoJo ; )

I'm Thankful Are YOU?

I'm thankful for....

1) Love and the spontaneity of it.

2) My first assignment to subb this Friday (I'm nerves)!

3) Sensei making it back safely.

4) Bestfriends confiding in me- I love ya Jenna-Be got yo back.

5) Morning workouts and for feeling better about myself.

6) New adds to my blog (from videos to new name links- and I did it by myself!)

7) Slam Poetry and the fact that I don't have my new stuff finished but the old shit I got is STILL hot enough for me to do it again!

Bonus: Thank you creator for the mother that you braided me into, for the Love in my heart and soul- he's what I was waiting for, and for true friends.

THIS MY MUTHA RUCKIN JAM!!!!
I could give a damn if you feel it...I got the CD so I see it as a must to play it!
Stay tuned to see what song will be added to my blog next week.
For now-Show me my opponent! DON'T SWEAT THE TECHNIQUE

Dedicated To My Sister

I’ll take three breaths,
Two pauses,
And six blinks,
To fight back tears
To give you cheers of encouragement in just saying,
I’m proud of you.

You,
You make me want to be a better person,
Sister,
Friend.
I pass back over memories in my mind when…
Your room was across from mine,
And I spent more time in yours,
Than in my own.
But you did me wrong when you
BURNED MY FOREHEAD!
But later,
I went ahead and lied for you when you snuck-out…
Or least I tried.
I’ll walk four steps behind…
Wanting to be just like you…
Admiring you…
You make me laugh…
Even still.

In the past,
You were the only one I looked up too.
Now I have two:
Alice Lois
Alicia Davette.
You never knew of how jealous of your name I used to be.
It derived from the collide of two people…
Our parents.
But I accept the transparent as we share blood through veins.
You become my yin,
As I am your yang.
Scary sometimes how much we look the same.
“Ya’ll twin’s right?”
I’m honored to look like you.
And even more honored to have you pave the way.
So trust me when I say…
I love you,
I’m proud of you.
To my Pizza,
From your baby sista.
We something like inseparable.

ebstewart,2006
sweated techniques publishing
all rights reserved

Poem I wrote for her graduation dinner. Dedicated to her in honor of her bday on Wednesday.

SHOUT OUTs & HELL TO THE NAWs:

I just wanted to say, S I love you! Thank you for taking care of me and for being concerned. Man it scared me- so laying on the floor was the least of my worries (Lol). I'm not really sure what's wrong (or what was wrong) I think it's from me not eating before I came, but I'm glad that you were there. Oh boy with the Chee-Chee is the truth! I'm just glad that I didn't passout on stage...can you say embarressing!

Also, Angel you the shit if you wanna be! I got some toliet paper for that girl! I love you, your spirit, and my shirt dammitt! I thought about wearing it to class today, but I think I'll wait cause I won't be on campus for very long. Therefore I won't get a chance to do my pizzazz fingers across my shirt (Lol). Thank you for thinking of me.

TeeTee you see me? I'm glad I got a chance to meet you. I'll add you to my blog links if you don't mind now that I got it together with who you are (it was the hair). Thank you for understanding my standoff behavior- Trying to play it smart.

JoJo hey gurl hey! I'm glad you finally got a chance to hear the poem. I was a bit nerves even though I thought I wouldn't be because Flow wasn't there, but the thought of him makes me nerves with smiles-butterflies flyin through stomachs-damn I love the thought of him.

Kim, Shelle, and Angel....HELL TO THE NAW on wedding songs sung!!! You don't ask that kinda stuff. What the hell is going on? "Can I sing my song dummmm boommm I really want to booo dodommm Don't wait til July 1st sudooommmuum" Who said that I wanted him too and how bout that wasn't his FIRST time!

WhAT CHU GRATEFUL FOR?

I'm grateful for....

1. Loosing track of the last time we've disagreed because we haven't been

2. Moma's cooking and left overs brought back to the ATX

3. Pictures of dawgs for conversation pieces (it just may work-lol)

4. The Flow of Love making it back safely

5. Her making time to talk to me, even though she's been busy with work-thankyou

6. My sisters Bday (tribute to her tomorrow)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIZZA!!!

7. Poetry, and being in the presence of them tonight

BONUS: Catching up with an old friend- We took off where we left off

I love ya Kay!

Kidnap Poem

ever been kidnapped by a poet

if I were a poet

I'd kidnap you

put you in my phrases and meter

you to Jones beach

or maybe Coney island

or maybe just to my house

lyric you in lilacs

dash you in the rain

blend into the beach

to complement my see

play the lyre for you

ode you with my love song

anything to win you

wrap you in the red Black green

show you off to mama

yeah if I were a poet I'd kidnap you

Written by Nikki Giovanni

It's always been a tie between her and Maya Angelou, until I read this poem when I was like 16. I fell in love with her wit and I decided I wanted to write as creative and freely as her...Make up stories and play with words like she does. I don't know if I'm as good as her, but I love the imagination my mind creates to make people unsure of me, think I'm really that way when I'm not, or just to describe anything with poetry. I've grown since then and now I have a whole lotta (yes lotta) favorite poets-some of ya'll included.

BOBO WENT HOME....

I left for Houston (Baytown), TX. friday evening after dropping off David at the airport (they confiscated his damn toothpaste...now what the hell is going on). He flew to Cali to drive back to Texas with his bestfriend who just came back from Iraq (glad you back C to tha J- we love you boy). I must say that I was rather nerves on how I was going to feel to be away from Love but, it wasn't as bad as I thought...we just not use to the phone thing ya dig...so I'll be glad when he returns tomorrow. David-baybid is my comfort blanket like the little boy from Charlie Brown. My drive was cool, but I often get bored on the road, so I drove fast-no tickets though and no bad weather, so it went good...allowed me to think about some stuff and just ride in silence -or- sing real loud and try an dance in the driver seat to "STUNTIN LIKE MY DADDY"-Lil Wayne. DAMMIT MAN they don't play that in Austin yet, so I guess I gotta do the fool everytime I hear it until I get tired of it....or until the CD come out and I can listen to it whenever I want. Anywho, reaching 7311 my mom was sittin there looking like me watching tv and immediately we braided back into eachother, doin what we do. That morning I woke up to David's voice, then talked to Sensei- clear hearted understanding and we good. My mom woke up and cooked me breakfast! Naw ya'll not understandin me! SHE COOKED BREAKFAST LIKE SHE USED TOO. Fried eggs, burned grill cheese sandwhich, skillet sausage, and some grits-I'll be damn I wanted to slap my mama- figuratively speaking of course (lol). We sat at the table-old times man eating and talking just the two of us (I'm the last of the three). Later, she started fixing some dinner for after we came back from our journey to being "Completed"= wedding plans. She was throwin down! Smoothered pork chops, rice and gravy, cabbage with sausage, and black-eyed-peas! YEA BAAABBBYYYY! that's good eatin! We left and went to pickup the Jenna-B bestfriends like non other since pampers-missed you too babe'. We went live to Arnies Party store, I had never been there before too crowded so we'll have to go back during the week. Not much got done because of the time, but the time spent was awesome-mapped plans next time to follow. My mom called me a bridezilla, but that's not even what was up (lol) I was so freakin hungry-wedding shmedding ya dig FEED ME SEYMOUR FEED ME NOW! Went to Casa Ole ate, laughed, shoot the shit, then walked around the mall bought stuff for my sisters bday on Wed. -Marshall's ROCKS! Saw a girl I used to have beef with-what chu wanna do!? No drama, we've grown...held her baby gave some compliments-felt good to let go of the B.S. My heart missed David so I was glad he called just to hear my voice. Parted from the Jenna-B went to my aunt's house-you know that aunt that is just extremely crazy like fo damn real and you always ask what's wrong with her? LMAO...that aunt-love her to death. Shoot more shit, laugh more laughs, damn it felt good. Church sunday morning waiting to go inside I thought I was gone have to go from sweet Eb to straight hood-old ass pervert went up to my mom and said she looks delicious! NOW WHAT THE HELL GOIN ON? That was not appropriate, damn if we would've been somewhere else I would jig'd em ya dig (if ya'll couldve just seen my face)Gettin mad again, so I'm gone let that alone...me and King James don't do eachother well, so I spent some time reading another version. My step dad was in concert when asked to lead a song-LMAO!!! Ate lunch with Pizza (sis) and the fam... she loved her gifts...but I feel like no gift can top the mercedes she got from her hubby for her grad, that mug is TIGHT! Road in it for the first time, big girl- baby- girl we got our eyebrows waxed (yin and yang we are-she's my night and I am her day). Almost ready to get on the road, but had to sit with them for a minute and get one last smell of dynasty.
Back in Austin...no david-baybid! Recharged completely once he returns. Yearning inclination. Thank you God for trips home, mama's voice and smile, and love from them buried in minds heart.