Late Gratitude List
I'm grateful for...
1) My corner my soul mate my fan my words of encouragement my hype man my love my soon to be husband my David
2) Mama's love and laughter- I'll see you this weekend
3) A new edition to the family: Jordan Hailey
4) Voice mails-text messages-pictures-that are funny as hell! I needed it, I was almost in tears before hand
5) Constant road blocks that will only make me a stronger person
6) Being me-doing me-and not given a damn about what anyone might say
7) July 7, 2007
8) True friends and family that make my world go around, with a few enemies to spare Special thanks to you Copa! your words of encouragement means a lot, and I'm glad you got to hear me spit
9) My aunt Billie sending more $ for the wedding fund (she's so awesome, thank you for all you've done)
10) My creator and the blessings I receive on the daily
Bonus: The over time at my new job that will only put more money towards the wedding WE TAKE CHARITY BY THE WAY!

Gratitude Wednesday (quickies)

I'm grateful for....

1) Our constant growth, love, and appreciation for each other (our awesome weekend made things even better)
2) Mama (enough said) Missing her is half the battle
3) Kimmie offering her tickets to me-I hope you think of me again the next time!
4) Taking the day off, since my Spring Break was pretty busy
5) My new J-O-B! Getting paid regularly will be awesome!
6) Wedding plans coming along- Be looking out for something special in the mail
7) July 7, 2007
8) Niagara Falls honeymoon, passports, fingers crossed!
9) My closest friends that I haven't hung with you know what it is- Hearts Curve
10) My creator's constant blessings
Bonus: Ya'll my WEDDING & MY GRADUATION IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!!!!!

ALSO: No Neo Tonight I'll be at the Tyler Perry play (complimentary tickets from Mother Bras)

David found a letter I wrote to him
January 1, 2005
Dear Love,
I know it seems kind of corny for me to be writing you a letter like some hs girly-girl...but last night at I-Hop I started thinking that maybe I haven't put it into words as to how strong my feelings are for you...even though I thought the card I got you for Christmas said it best. It's cool; best times will be spent telling you how much I love you. In confessing my love i find myself wanting to describe my feelings at this very moment. My heart is racing...butterflies are twirling in my stomach, and my eyes are ready to cry as the pen rushes anxiously across the page...eager to express myself to you. I take a minute to pause and get my words together, as I tend to ramble. You made mention one night that I knew I didn't deserve the things that were being done to me, and the way I was being treated. But honestly, I didn't know i deserved better until I had better, until God blessed me with you, until you made me love you. Your sooo good to me, thank you. Your everything I've ever dreamed of, and everything I've ever wanted. Last year i went through so much, but the ending was such a beautiful beginning I can't help but be pleased. Thinking of you right now at this very moment, I hold my tears but they'll still steal away down my face in such happiness. Do I believe in soul-mates you asked? Yes baby, very much...now that I've come to meet my soul-mate. Your my hero, my black knight with shining armor. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you. And as I mouth out the words I write, I contemplate our future. I'm ready for you to propose...hell if you don't I WILL! I read in the bible that, "when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing." I can't change the word, but i have to admit that it goes both ways in this case. Part of me wants to give you the world so that it's right there at your finger tips. The other part of me is happy that you don't have the whole world right at your finger tips, so you can build it with me. When you speak I hear your every word. When you breath, I linger on your inhale until you exhale. When you laugh I can't help but laugh too. David baby, you make me want to be a better person, woman, student, and child of God. I love the fact that I trust you completely. I love the fact that when I write or talk about you, you make my words rhyme and it's poetry turning into floetry. I love that you make me laugh and nothings even funny. I love the fact that you can make me miss you as soon as you leave the room, hang up the phone, or go to sleep. I love the fact that my children will be your children making them our own. I saw it already in looking in your eyes that you'll take my breath away with your gorgeous eyes and smile while standing at the alter...the reason I know is because you take my breath away now. I love you very much. More than I thought I would.
Always,
The Future Mrs. Braswell

Gratitude Wednesday

"Spring Break Style"

1) The love of Baybid and constant growth no matter how much we feel we may be shorting each other.
2) Family ties-bonds-and missing each other-Mama I love you
3) Spring Break- Dang I needed it!
4) Poetry @ Mitches w/Neo-Soul Family (Relentless you did great)
5) Starting a new job- I think I'm going tot like it. Especially the incentives:
Flip Flops
Cup
Personalized Mug
Magnet
Gift certificate
Pens
My own cubicle!

6) New ways to love and appreciate you (us) better
7) July 7, 2007
8) Honeymoon decisions w/goals just to be close to you (thanks for your input guys & girls)
9) New poems!! Writing other people's stories with a little of my own
10) The creator of you & me
Bonus: Making the most outta life-Carpe Diem!

HONEYMOON IDEAS IN THE U.S. ANYONE?

Family Tree

Mama bring home a good daddy,
since I ain't never had one.
Don't I deserve to have a better tomorrow?
Go loosely,
Tryin to make this house a home.
Lord knows it's somewhat impossible to raise us alone.
And my brother ain't gone never know how to be a man through you.
See he already got false sense of what a man is,
His daddy,
Our first,
Quenched throats through courage-
Now he got po'up syndrome.
Walkin around with Gibeau saggin off his waist,
Claiming colors and area codes on his forearm...
But we ain't never stayed no where long.
And even Granny think thuggin cute.

Suite yourself we get high together,
So now everthang supposed to be copacetic.
Puff that magic dragon.
My daddy throw fist for a livin'
Uh-huh...My brother do too.
Daddy always fightin my mama,
So when I grow up-
I wanna man who loves me that much.
Just don't black my eye today,
You'll mess up my hoe sale.
We fell on the same ground...

Mama I swear I'll be like you,
become unglued,
and do that dude-if he promise to pay me well.
And I'll mirror what you taught me,
practicin on my boyfriend,
then doin it for a livin.
She says a good man is hard to find.
So I'll keep in mind to f*ck all the bad ones.
Pocket that change-turn those tricks.
Don't come wit no bullshit nigga,
This here my profession.
I don't spread legs for free.
The only thing passed down is the legacy of me
letting you
treat me this way.
"You love me, it's special"

Use what you got
To get what you need.
Take it back-
Cause I know you want too.
My mama meant well!
She just couldn't see the damage in the imagery of being jilted
into less than a woman's worth.
And we never listen to what you said anyway,
We just made sure to mimic what you did.

ebstewart,2006
sweated techniquespublishing
all rights reserved

Gratitude WEDNESDAY!

I'm grateful for...

1) His determination, love, and fulfillment

2) Her Retirement party being a success-Her smile, hugs, and tears of joy from my poem

3) My sister & brother- no one else like Pizza & KyKy (I love you both-thank you)

4) Our pictures that came out looking FLY ASS HELL!

5) Income Tax this week!

6) Poetry Slam doubled-and winning! Man it felt good

7) July 7, 2007

8) Seeing my grandma-Clara thanks for helping to raise me I owe so much to you

9) Seeing close friends: Jenna-Be, KayDee & Family: Mikey and Lil' D I love you guys

10) The Creator and the awesome things he/she does for me-thank you

Bonus: Even though we didn't have wings last week you are both in my thoughts (Hearts curve). What up on the movie night? AND New Orleans?

Weekend Report
Friday
Wake up to Pop-tarts on the go...I had a substitute job at Paredez MS. It was cake...I think I actually like junior high. There at that level to where they not too smart alack but still willing to do what i say without a lot of back talk. I googled most of the day looking up honeymoon and cruise ideas...got any? I also went over a few poems for my mom. Later once I got off, I headed to the shop to get my hair permed-the waves been fighting me for a minute! We left Austin on our way to Houston late. SO late to where David and I had to trade. But once I got to her arms I forgot all about it. We stayed up a bit talking then I drifted into dreams.
Saturday
I awoke to my mom leaving out to go help set up the hall for her Retirement Party. We got up and prepared for our engagement pictures. They came out soooooo nice! Still, we're looking forward to letting TeeTee do her thang. After those we headed to the hall to help decorate too, rushing to get things ready, the picture cake was sooo pretty, back to the apt get dressed, then back up to the hall to greet guest. There wasn't a huge turn out but it was nice all the same. My sister and brother def did that! I read the poem(s) to my mom and watched her eyes tear up, along with other guests in the audience. I however didn't get teary, I was just happy to have the opportunity to dedicate something to her. We danced and ate and just did the fool. Mixed and mingled with people who hadn't seen us since we were babies...my old softball coach pissed me off-offended me on some other stuff. He made this "joking" comment saying that he didn't even know if I was going to graduate...insinuating that because I use to fight alot, and that I was rough, that maybe I wasn't smart? Ummmm, I smiled back curse words, but I did let him know that even though I got in fights I was in the honor program and i also got a scholarship in academics! What the hell was he talking about? Dude, move around...or better yet, I will. Kaydee! I finally got to see him, just came back from Trinidad. Him and David talked and chilled together, which makes it so much easier for me because KayDee is my best guy friend. My cousins Mikey and Lil D were there-they look so grown. Everything turned out so nice. I even got to dance with the smoothest dancer there is-my Uncle Leroy. I learned about three line dances too. And once we cleaned and loaded and unloaded the cars David and I crashed!
Sunday
The weekend def went by fast. We didn't go to church...I forgot my clothes. David and I hung out at the house and just enjoyed each others company. My mom spent the morning talking on the phone about her night. We had some laughs and i was glad that she had a good time and enjoyed herself. We ate some left overs then packed to head out. I wanted to see my grandmother before i left though. Usually it is really hard for me to see her. She helped practically raise me since I was like 3months old and now two strokes later she's weak and I wish I could take care of her. But her wit and mind is still there. I always make sure that she knows when the wedding is and ask if I have permission to get married. She approved and told me that i have 3months! What! This is true, but I hadn't even thought about it like that! She told me that she'll be there. I know she'll have on something sharp-she's always known how to dress. She remembers that I'm going to be a teacher, saying she knows I can do it. That made me feel good, seeing her made me feel good, she is the break of my heart-I love her so much. I kissed her goodbye and we got on the road. Arriving in the ATX i immediately got to my homework-since i have two papers due on Tuesday. I had already written them just needed to go over the grammatical errors. We are pooped, but def a full weekend-Goodnight!

Dear Mama

Mama said,
"Come 'ere girl let me braid your hair.
Let me tell you the facts of life
Highs and Lows
and things that ain't so far."
This is a man's world.
But it wouldn't be nothing without a woman.
In my mama's womb,
God created
She pushed be through her being.
Upon our first meeting
Her breast I'll be clinging
Fingers I'll be holding
And her womanhood I'll be molding.
Dear Mama,
I love you for the woman you are,
and the woman you've helped me to become.
Her back weights a ton.
She has 3 or 4 personalities,
Some mothers even play the roles of daddies.
From hurt tummies
to
Scratched knees
Mama's hands would always bless me.
But all touches didn't feel good,
Sometimes she'd have to beat me down,
And say,
"Now do it again...And I WISH you would."
She taught me about the birds and the bees
But,
I better not know nothing about no birds or no bees.
Mama ain't raise no fool.
She schooled me,
So I'd put boys to shame whenever they try an run that weak game.
BOY PLEASE
I'm a princess,
Cause my mama's a black queen.
From a man I expect nothing less than the best,
Nothing half way or in between.
The fire in her eyes is where my determination lies.
And as she ponies another tail...
She pulled my hair back so tight I could hardly blink.
Saying,
"You a product of me girl, SO before you do you better think."
Even when I thought I couldn't do it
Mama said I could.
And when I needed mama most,
She was right there as a mother should.
She's my number one fan,
My reason to take a stand,
And my reminder in life to do the best that I can.
A smile from her recharges my day.
And when she can't do it,
She reminds me of my faith in God to make everything okay.
Going into her purse,
She'll give me her last,
Always saying,
"Ill give it to you this time Ebony,
But the next time don't even ask."
I watched this woman turn 2 back flips,
4 cart wheels,
And 8 back bends,
So I can have everything she didn't
and even more than she did.
See things she's never seen,
do things she's never done.
Cause even though it's a man's world...
It wouldn't be nothing without this woman.
DEAR MAMA
I LOVE YOU.
ebstewart,2006
sweated techniquespublishing
all rights reserved