Dear Aunt Pearl,

It's been a year since you left but spirit remains as well as your smile. Every now and then I think about you and laugh. I can't deny that a bit of sadness comes too. I know...I know...I'm good. You know how Ebony is. Lol. Thank you for the memories and for bringing the backroom click even closer. Have you met Shannon yet? Remember I told you of her poetry...anyway, all is well here. Thank you for Aniah too by the way, I knew you'd ask God for a girl. Ham is the dad we knew he would be.
Keep pushing me. Miss you. I love you. I'll see you smiling and laughing in my dreams.

Always,

Eb


Kodak Moments

That morning it was as if the sun rose to quick and time demanded attention.
My body refused black so I became color blind, put on grey, and followed the mood.
Nothing was of color except for my purple blouse once a favorite. Everything was perfect...my hair didn't fuss and my makeup was flawless, except for the mascara on my right eye. Maybe it knew it would cry more than the left.
I watched TV like I had no place to be, flipping back over memories.
Once in the car I listened to rap, I didn't want to hear anything soothing.
Arriving at our destination I looked for her. The way she said my name would feel like bliss and order were first cousins.
Today she was absent and someone else was conducting.
Harmoniously we clasped our hands together, bowed our heads...they prayed, I thought.
I wondered if I was ready because everything about my presence said that I was but my heart couldn't trick my mind.
I looked over my shoulder past my husband and at my Hammond.
We are like Hansel and Gretel, Clark Kent and Super Woman, Tom and Jerry.
He's "ready" too.
I tried to pay no attention to tears as the limo backed into the driveway. It was a smooth black. No streaks or speckle of dirt.
I imagined someone famous was inside the way the windows hid sorrow.
We drove as if we were late for a graduation and the announcer was already on the "H."
The church was so big, like God himself was going to make an appearance. We paired in twos... My sister grabbed my hand, she's my peace. I can feel from the sweat of her palms that she's either weak or nervous, both a sign of panic.
The procession proceeded forward and things began to move in slow motion. Every time I turned my head it was as if I was caught in the matrix, you know the one with the special affects.
Someone else was rolling in my grandma, not the usual...strange.
Everyone stood as we marched in. I saw as we reached the front one pair went one way and the other set went another.
I became nervous, what if I don't know which way to go.
The moment had arrived.
She was the most beautiful corpse I had ever seen. Lying there in her white missionary suit. Her hair didn't fuss, makeup flawless. I kept waiting for her to say my name, it always sounded like bliss and order when she spoke, but she didn't.
No...She just slept.
I could feel the sweat of my sisters palm slip when I looked at Hansel. I knew my peace would understand that I had to go to him.
Comfort embraced confusion and we fuzzed together sadness melting into a ball. Tears became a chain reaction. Questions made sense, "why", but no answers were given.
We held each other tightly as if each others breath were in our chests and if loosened one would stop breathing. We were out of formation but we didn't care. Nothing will change this moment.
She created memories that Kodak moments couldn't even capture...we had a few.
Selfishly cursing God in our hearts wanting back what we felt was taken without justice.
There is no justice in broken hearts and shattered moments you thought would never come. But we held like gorilla because of pearl.
We okay...
The d at the end would make it past tense, so I'll say, I love her.
Everything else is Kodak...moments.
Dedicated in memory of Erma LaPearl Holmes

By: Ebpoetry