Assignment #1
1. as lifeless as a rotten corpse that has unidentifiable body parts
2. as shinny as a newly mined diamond from South Africa
3. as fat as Jared before the 6-inch Subway diet
4. as bored as tapped finger-nails and drooped heads at Sunday School
5. it hurt as bad as a young girl getting molested by her father since 6 months old
6. as funny as Eddie Murphy's leather suit in his stand up comedy "Raw"
7. as wild as Ozzy Osbourn and Led Zeplin's love child (that is if they were able to reproduce)
8. as smart as an autistic child with a photographic memory counting backwards from 1,000
9. as beautiful as the sunset luminating the sky with an orange red and neon yellow glow fading away
10. as smelly as 13 day old expired milk sitting under the light bulb in the refrigerator
11) As breath taking as the peak of Mt. Everest
12) As worn as the not yet repaired pavement of I-10
13) Her mouth was as dry as the month of August with little to no spit to swallow
14) As wide as gaped teeth with the need for metal fixtures
15) He was as tired as an Olympic runner racing a cheetah on bare feet
16) As empty headed as space without the concept of a milky way
17) As brave as Mohammad Ali sitting behind bars refusing Vietnam
18) Her breast hung as low as elephant trunks and felt just as rough
19) As brave as a bright light that dares to shine into dark spaces, unsure of what maybe shown
20) As lost as a lighthouse free standing in the middle of the ocean
21) As emotional as the ebb before the flow of a tsunami
22) As perfect as white picket fences blue shutters and red doors with a slain capitalist inside
23) He chased after my heart as if he were Haley's comet rushing the sky
24) As vulnerable as cold steel waiting to be molded by your heat
25) As East as the sun rising in our hearts
26) As confused as a cross being mistaken for a tall T that just stands for TERRIFIC!
27) As aggravating as a random complaining mother-in-law, hold on she's calling again
28) As awkward as an Asian cartoon porn-star with blue eyes
29) At the bottom of every breath I pulled the trigger as rhythmic as my heart beat
30) He struck her like lighting twice in the same spot making fact fiction
31) As tight as a gripped rope around the neck of a calf or maybe it was just as tight as his wranglers
32) As scary as the movie "Psycho" with Micheal Jackson as the main character
33) As meaningless as the promises made by a dead beat dad
34) As shallow as drowning thoughts
35) As gross as the birth canal dripping plasma, placenta, and poop! Okay I just convinced myself I'm not ready to have kids
36) As dirty as a month old used pad stuck to the bottom of the trash can...HEY when was her last period!
37) As uncomfortable as a full bladder riding in a car that needs shocks while he decided to take the long way home
38) As illiterate as the alphabet not yet forming words
39) As flashy as top hats, flashing lights, big screens, and Broadway shows
40) As fly as a prom king dressed as a pimp from the slap-a-hoe tribe
41) His eyes were as sad as a star without a glimmer of hope outlining its triangles
42) She watched as if time would tick backwards, taking away the impatient clicking of seconds
43) Life wasted away as she hung there feet afraid of heights pointing down with the desire to loosen her neck
44) She wore a rope laced like a necklace around her neck as if it were from Tiffany's and an emblem of her fate
45) She was as pregnant as a caravan laying on its side pushing out a sedan
46) He walked as if he had his own theme song. You know one of those egotistical hotdogger theme songs that Rocky, Brad Pitt, or even Mini Me Vernan would walk to
47) He struggled and fought with all his being, like a mouse that was unmighty trying to lift Big Bertha. The fat b*tch!
48) She talked like she had a wad of spit under her tongue waiting to be up-chucked from her throat like a louggie
49) I think I hate kids. Especially the ones that dig in their butts and up their noses as if the Lucky Charm guy left them something magically delicious
50) Sitting there pretending to do her work. She thinks I'm unaware of her lazy tendencies as if it doesn't leave a familiar scent one could get high to, like paint...I can't wait until she starts peeling